Familial Relations

I don't know why, but lately I've been reading books centered on slightly skewed families. Okay, scratch that. These families are pretty messed in the head, usually featuring one child who possesses a slight sheen of normality. The abnormality (at least by my standards) rates for these two familes are through the roof. I just finished APOLOGIZE, APOLOGIZE! and This Is Where I Leave You while on spring break and let me tell you, the main characters are as far from my view of family as you can get. A,A! is about a son, who is relatively normal, existing (or at least trying to exist) in a family of crazies, living on Martha's Vineyard. His mother is a radical activist, a communist and a Marxist who blames her father for her mother's death and is obsessed with dogs. Apparently they own upwards of 20 I guess. His father is a compulsively unfaithful drunk who married into money and can't hold anything except a glass of chardonnay. His uncle hates his mother, is obsessed with training carrier pigeons and randomly goes missing. His brother is incorrigible, yet still mommy's favorite. The only other person in their family is The Falcon, otherwise known as Grandpa, who pays for his family's lavish lifestyle. Oh, by the way, did I mention the main character's name? Yeah, it's Collie. As in, the dog. And his brother's name, you ask? Bingo. Yes, his name is Bingo.

The other family I read about is from the book This Is Where I Leave You. While not as radically abnormal as the other family, it's still much different from mine. Judd's wife has just left him for his boss (Wade) and his father has just died. His family's Jewish so they are forced to "sit shiva" which is a way of saying they're going to sit in their house and grieve for seven days, while people come to their house to pay reverence, I guess. The characters weren't really all that into it. So Judd's the third child, after Wendy and Paul and before Phillip. Wendy brings along her husband and three children, Cole, Ryan and Selena. Paul brings along his wife, Annie, who used to date Judd. Awkward, right? Phillip, another incorrigible baby brother, nine years away from his closest sibling. He brings home a surprise guest. His forty year old life coach-turned-girlfriend. Oh, and surprise, Judd's wife, Jen, is pregnant. But it's not Wade's baby... And then there's the mother. She's a psychiatrist, I think, who specializes in raising babies. She's also, well, let's just say "surgically enhanced." Oh, and a closeted bi-sexual. Who knew families could get so crazy, huh? NOT ME. I have two parents, and two sisters. My family is about as square as you can get which, I think, is the reason I've lately been drawn to "special" family books. I don't know what it's like to have family members constantly go missing, passing out in a drunken stupor in neighbors' chimneys. While I'm happy about that, it gets kinda boring, doing the same old things. Can't one of my family members raise ten dogs, or carrier pigeons or something? I NEED SOME VARIETY HERE PEOPLE! Ah, well, as I always say, c'est la vie. Adios muchachos. I'm due for some much needed sleep. See you on Monday!